Roaming and Rambling

In these past few months I have learned how very much I can live without. An abundance of clothes, favorite types of food, the comforts of life that grow complacency rather than gratitude in the face of blessings. Something fundamentally changed when I fit my life into a suitcase and left a room full of stuff & a life left of center behind me. Everything fit, everything I needed came with me, and I say this knowing that my family and friends could not make this journey with me.  And what I mean is this: at the very center, the beating heart that gives rhythm to this life, at the deepest core of truth in this adventure: I needed me. I needed to stand alone. And not alone for an afternoon in my apartment in Boone while Katie runs to the store, not alone like the mornings that found me after Zach and I broke up, not alone paying bills and grocery shopping without the guidance of my parents. These "alones" are sown in shallow soil, these alones can be softened away with the ...

These days I will do just about anything for a bit of peace and a cup of hot chocolate. The places I am finding peace lately are unlike any of the places I usually search:  on crowded streets while zig zagging people and dogs in a whirlwind morning run,  the routine of tying back my lace curtains one by one as the sun comes up with the creak of the sleepy windows opening for me, the moment I lower myself to one more push up amid Shanti's commands to "dig deeper" so I do, Mama Tica scolding me not to do the dishes while lovingly pulling me in to kiss my cheek, Angel asking me to walk by her side at night - the squeeze of her hand asking for mine in return,  Sofie's strength in her hugs when I come home reduced to tears by a day,  many mid afternoon and late night cups of tea,  John's sweatshirt that hits my knees while Harold sits in my arms - both have traveled so far with me.  (Written a few days ago) I am finding peace right now, here on this tw...