Roaming and Rambling

I woke up earlier than I should have on a Saturday. It feels like my body is still on East Coast time - I wake up early here feeling late morning in my bones. Other than the timelessness of mornings, I am surprised at the peace and the contentedness I feel about this move. After these past few weeks, I look back over my time in Columbia and realize that so many things came to a head there when I had time to rest, reflect, and feel. I was completely mentally tormented and in emotional turmoil in the days leading up to my departure and even for the first full day of the trip. I can see clearly now how the comfortable and familiar has kept me safe in my life. But I can also see how it has almost kept me standing still when everything was calling me to keep moving forward.  I can't quite put my finger on why & it sounds so dang cliche, but after driving through Montana and being here in Missoula, it feels like I am supposed to be here. Wholeheartedly, c...

Last year I would not have believed that I’d be sitting here now on a gorgeous Friday in September in a corner coffee shop in Missoula, Montana with a heavy heart and fingers on the keyboard, missing my Dad more than I’ve missed anyone in the longest. It catches me by surprise every time - the steady march of time and the deep current of change that carves you out without you knowing. Catches me by surprise that I am here and this is my life now.  It’s almost a month to the day that I spent my last day at DOJ in the Office of International Affairs and my last few nights in northern Virginia/DC. I am so thankful that, in those last couple of days, I was able to see each of the close friends that made my time there worthwhile and rewarding. Maybe one day I’ll find the heart, patience, and time to reflect on my time in DC at length. Looking back, I regret that I always framed the whole experience under the umbrella of being restless and unfulfilled at my job. I look at that same ...

It's been a while again.  I'm sitting at my parents' kitchen table in my hometown after a full few days spending time with friends and family and my dog. We are moving to Montana. I say it out loud to people & it sounds like someone else's words. We are moving to Montana and everything is changing now. Everything seems to be moving, shifting, growing bigger, getting smaller, working its way around all by itself. I'm here for the ride.  Leaving Alexandria and the D.C. area has been more difficult than I imagined it would be. The places that carve you out do seem to fill you back up in the end. When I first made the move, I was many things: afraid, tired, depressed, hesitant, on the whole saying that I wanted to be happy and in reality not doing much to cultivate it myself. Cue life and its ways of keeping you honest.  My apartment building was comprised of a group of (mostly) women who were supportive, encouraging, fun, de...