Gracias a Dios
This Sunday September 18th marks that I have exactly three months more here in Costa Rica.
I started graduate school applications, but that's too tangible to talk about.
I wish I were a painter so that I could capture the inexplicably wonderful way the wind dances with the lace curtains of my room as morning breathes deeply.
There is so much that I have seen, so much I have felt on this sun kissed skin that I wish to share, but it all circles in my mind - I never have been a very direct storyteller.
Today is Bid Day back home in Boone for my KD sisters, and last night as I wrote my last pref letter, re-read my senior letter that was read this morning in our beloved circle, and looked at photos of my wonderful family (Mary, Molly, Maddie), I was overcome by just how much I miss being with them. I miss standing in such strong unity, I miss the ritual, I miss the songs everyone else thinks are cheesy, I miss smiling across that circle at the people who have helped to define me, I miss singing "Loving Cup" by Phish in my head when we do Pref. I even miss the very specific way we must stand. My heart is floating lightly above those mountains today, waiting to welcome new girls, watching to see the incredible smiles of all my friends as they cheer and laugh and tackle each other on Duckpond in hugs that feel as if they could last forever. I hope they feel my love with them, holding them in that moment.
I went running by myself this morning - carried only my keys. Probably foolish, but to be so unburdened made it the most beautiful run of my three weeks here thus far. In true Hallie form, I wore my big Kappa Delts tank, recently tie-dyed in brilliant hues that stand out so perfectly on the streets of San Jose. Questioning eyes and smiling remarks followed my path around the city this morning. Sunday morning, cielo azul (blue sky), the most welcoming clouds I have ever seen, sweat, the burn in my legs, breakfast waiting when I flew in the door, so much of life kissing me in "buenos dias."
These past few days have been nothing short of unbelievable, for lack of a more poetic way to describe all that they have so selflessly given me.
Baked for the first time in CR - a cake for my friends Janet and Greta's birthday, many meaningful conversations with Mama Tica lasting well past the final bite, empty plates bearing witness to the parts of our lives that we slowly unfold to one another. The surprising twinges of pride standing amid the people of San Jose as they sang their national anthem on Independence Day, finding myself wishing I too knew the words. Connecting with my housemate Kyndra, my best friend here, and the deep belly laughter we fall into together, so long lasting that we are struggling to breathe and happily catch all the tears on our sleeves.
And yesterday we went to La Paz Waterfall Gardens where I saw the most exotic and beautiful animals I have ever wanted to free from captivity. It was an incredible gift to see them so close, to study their strength, but I could feel the sad complacency of their tamed hearts: the wild had been stolen.
Holding hands with a monkey - the world stood still. So much communicated in a single touch and stare. I will never doubt miracles.
Standing before the sheer power of that waterfall yesterday, I leaned over the railing, felt the mist dampen my hair, soak my soul. I threw my arms out wide in thanks and exhaled the biggest breath of release, completely surrendering to being so alive.
The people here sustain me, turn up the corners of my frowns, teach me.
My home and a resting place for my heart wait for me.
Esta vida.
I started graduate school applications, but that's too tangible to talk about.
I wish I were a painter so that I could capture the inexplicably wonderful way the wind dances with the lace curtains of my room as morning breathes deeply.
There is so much that I have seen, so much I have felt on this sun kissed skin that I wish to share, but it all circles in my mind - I never have been a very direct storyteller.
Today is Bid Day back home in Boone for my KD sisters, and last night as I wrote my last pref letter, re-read my senior letter that was read this morning in our beloved circle, and looked at photos of my wonderful family (Mary, Molly, Maddie), I was overcome by just how much I miss being with them. I miss standing in such strong unity, I miss the ritual, I miss the songs everyone else thinks are cheesy, I miss smiling across that circle at the people who have helped to define me, I miss singing "Loving Cup" by Phish in my head when we do Pref. I even miss the very specific way we must stand. My heart is floating lightly above those mountains today, waiting to welcome new girls, watching to see the incredible smiles of all my friends as they cheer and laugh and tackle each other on Duckpond in hugs that feel as if they could last forever. I hope they feel my love with them, holding them in that moment.
I went running by myself this morning - carried only my keys. Probably foolish, but to be so unburdened made it the most beautiful run of my three weeks here thus far. In true Hallie form, I wore my big Kappa Delts tank, recently tie-dyed in brilliant hues that stand out so perfectly on the streets of San Jose. Questioning eyes and smiling remarks followed my path around the city this morning. Sunday morning, cielo azul (blue sky), the most welcoming clouds I have ever seen, sweat, the burn in my legs, breakfast waiting when I flew in the door, so much of life kissing me in "buenos dias."
These past few days have been nothing short of unbelievable, for lack of a more poetic way to describe all that they have so selflessly given me.
Baked for the first time in CR - a cake for my friends Janet and Greta's birthday, many meaningful conversations with Mama Tica lasting well past the final bite, empty plates bearing witness to the parts of our lives that we slowly unfold to one another. The surprising twinges of pride standing amid the people of San Jose as they sang their national anthem on Independence Day, finding myself wishing I too knew the words. Connecting with my housemate Kyndra, my best friend here, and the deep belly laughter we fall into together, so long lasting that we are struggling to breathe and happily catch all the tears on our sleeves.
And yesterday we went to La Paz Waterfall Gardens where I saw the most exotic and beautiful animals I have ever wanted to free from captivity. It was an incredible gift to see them so close, to study their strength, but I could feel the sad complacency of their tamed hearts: the wild had been stolen.
Holding hands with a monkey - the world stood still. So much communicated in a single touch and stare. I will never doubt miracles.
Standing before the sheer power of that waterfall yesterday, I leaned over the railing, felt the mist dampen my hair, soak my soul. I threw my arms out wide in thanks and exhaled the biggest breath of release, completely surrendering to being so alive.
The people here sustain me, turn up the corners of my frowns, teach me.
My home and a resting place for my heart wait for me.
Esta vida.
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